The Forest Incident
by CrashLanded
Summary: [Oneshot][Crackfic] Naruto calls Karin over to their side. However this starts a really big threeway catfight that almost takes the forest down.


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Disclaimer: Naruto and all its characters are copyright of Masahi Kishimoto.

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This is the story of a man, who... err what am I saying. Well really this is the story of a 'little' incident that blew up a big hole in the fine forest that covers the land of the Fire country. Who am I? The Chornicler of Uzumaki Naruto's journey to greatness of course. (You're not going too tell them about that bribe, are you? Of course you wouldn't. Or you won't that cookie I made just now. Huh? What? Hey, my cooking ain't bad!!!! See, I'm alive and kicking and I eat what I cook.) It all started with the chase: Uchiha running away and Uzumaki in close pursuit (get your dirty minds out of the gutter fangirls, this is NOT a yaoi).

0o0o0o0o0

"The kage bunshins are getting closer." Karin observed. "And there are two jounins in tow, plus the dogs."

"I thought you got rid of them." This was Juugo.

"So they have set trackers after us, so what now Sasuke?" Suigetsu asked, even though he didn't like the Uchiha a bit.  
"Keep going, stopping isn't going to help." Sasuke said (in his oh-so-cool voice, though I bet I can imitate it with ease). He knew he had made a blunder when he had dismissed that clone. Now Naruto knew where they were headed. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he almost missed the fact that they had come to a clearing.

"We're surrounded." Juugo said.

All around them were Naruto bunshins, smirking at having found the target. And suddenly they were all dismissed, leaving them with the only blond figure that stood before them. This Naruto looked different as he had a frown on his face.

"I know its pointless to ask but.." Naruto could not finish that sentence as a Chidori pierced his right chest. His eyes widened as blood rushed up his throat. And then he smiled as the words flowed out of his lips: Bunshin Daibakuha.

Sasuke flew back from the force of the explosion and skidded to a halt a few feet away, but could not rest as he felt Naruto come up on his back. He jumped away, barely evading the Rasengan that was going for his back. He drew the Kusanagi out as he landed again.

However I digress; this is only a minor scuffle compared to what was to come. Kiba and Shino had engaged Suigetsu as Juugo took off with Yamato and Sai. Kakashi looked at the fights going on and decided to wait for Sakura to catch up.

Meanwhile Karin looked around to find Hinata staring at her with her Byakugan blazing. But before any of the two could do anything, a pair of hands gripped onto Karin's wrists from behind and held up across her chest, effectively holding her in a lockout. A warm voice came to her right ear as breath tickled her hair. "You know, that was impressive with that diversion you set up for 'Dog-Breath' over there, using bits of clothing to draw us away. But you didn't know anything about me, and I caught up easily with that baka teme dispelling my clone. Too bad that idiot does not realise that he's fighting another clone."

"You mean..."  
"I'm the real one. That clone has much higher chakra than normal, so he'll hold out for a while. But I'm here to ask one thing, what's a hot girl like you doing with SasuGay over there?" (Naruto knew Sasuke was not gay but they were rivals dammit!!! If only he would have thought before saying this then it would not come to this.) And I know what you are going to say-Sasuke kun is not gay!!! (doing a fangirl imitation)-so hear me out. You know he's cool and all that but what about his ambition, he was going to revive his clan right? So why are there no little Sasukes about? I mean he had a lot of girls falling for him."

"I... don't...he's planning to do that after he's killed Itachi... yeah, that's it."  
"Even I can't kill Itachi, and he thinks he can? He can't even beat my bunshin. C'mon, a girl like you should not be alone. I've a clan to revive as well."

At this Karin flushed and Hinata scowled. She had lip-read everything Naruto said and felt that competition was building up. Shy or no shy, if something dear is at stake, even cowards would take to arms, and Hinata was no coward. This was war!!!!

Unknown to them our pink haired cutie had also heard it, using that small radio she had managed to slip into Naruto's hitai-ate. And she was angry.  
"How dare he... that good for nothing orange ball of shit!!" She thought. "Flirting with that slut out there. Get back home and I'll teach you how to pick up a girl."  
Now Sakura was pissed. Hell hath no fury than a woman scorned. And in her anger she forgot that she had never thought anything about Naruto in 'that' way.

"Ah...I'll... think about it." Karin was blushing from the suggestion Naruto had given. She didn't know what was wrong with her but her 'urge' grew hundred-fold with his arms wrapped around her.  
"Right, so I'm off. Have a teme to catch." Naruto ran off towards Sasuke with that, leaving a blushing Karin and a scowling Hinata...err and don't forget a jealous and angry Sakura, who jumped in front of Karin.

"Back off, slut. This one's mine." Sakura said without hesitation, her judgement clouded with fury and jealousy. If she had been calmer, she would never have said that.  
"What do you mean by yours. Naruto kun is MINE." that was Hinata, surprisingly without a stutter. It was now or never for her. She wasn't going to lose to that pink-headed bitch or that slut.  
"Who are you calling a slut, bitch?" Karin had sensed a challenge. "You're on."

With this started the brawl of the century, I mean even the Kyuubi would have feared to get in between the three who were in a vicious catfight. Everyone stopped in their tracks to watch the three-way fight that had started in the clearing and was threatening to engulf the whole forest. Curses and jutsus flew through the air as it began getting saturated with dust and broken branches and leaves and even trees and boulders.

Naruto looked in bewilderment, forgetting that he was fighting Sasuke, who was also looking with wide eyes at the display.

"Dobe, you really have a talent for this."  
"Shut up."

Not too far away Kakashi was perched on a branch, giggling as (surprise surprise) he scribbled hastily on a notepad. If this continued long enough, he could have enough material to write a book. Oh think of the fame and money. A novel rivalling Jiraiya sama's... he would be famous indeed. He he he he...

Three months later Kakashi's book had made him a milionaire.

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This idea simply popped up in my mind so I decided to write it down. Its a crack oneshot and I don't have any intentions of carrying it further. Sorry for Naruto being a little OOC.


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